When I had my planner laid out in front of me last December I dreamed up plans and set goals for myself. I pictured what my year would look like - vacation in Frankfort this summer, sell my products at my twice-weekly Farmers Market, consistently log my food/calories, get passports for a dream-trip in 2021... and then, along with everyone else, I watched as 2020 turn into a nightmare.
March brought panic, crisis food (and alcohol) shopping, school and work from home, lockdown, and the end of normal life as we had all previously known it. My high school senior missed his graduation and party, and we cancelled our vacation. The farmers market was still able to open with restrictions, but my booth saw fewer customers, and a 90 degree heat wave that lasted over a month.
By July, I could feel so much stress welling up inside of myself, and I came to a boiling point. I was exhausted. In addition to the stress of Covid and all that brought, I am frequently woken up by alarms multiple times each night to manage my eleven-year-old child's complicated disease.
Dripping with sweat, mask-fatigued, and loading my last cinder block tent-weight into the back of my van at the end of a long day at the farmers market, I decided that something in my life would have to give.
I went home and thought about it. I considered what I could change, and what was truly important. I realized that as much as I wanted to be able to do all things, and as much as I enjoy interacting with my farmers market customers, that I needed to stop attending the market for my own good.
It was an extremely difficult decision, but in my heart and gut, I know that it's the right one. I feel like a weight was lifted from me, and I have the time to both take care of my family AND develop my business online.
I hope that you are taking care of yourself, and that you realize that if you are overloaded, that it's okay to take a step back. Reevaluate how you spend your time, and ask yourself if you are spending it the best way that you can.
I'm not sure what the future will bring, but I am looking forward to working on my goals again - and know that it's ok to change!